


I'm not enough?

by KinkdorableAss



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: AWP (angst without plot), Angst, Angst with an excuse, Basically I throw a tantrum and called fanfic, M/M, Self-Indulgent, Well there is a plot but is more like an excuse, emotional cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 08:22:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20672261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KinkdorableAss/pseuds/KinkdorableAss
Summary: Hiccup wants Toothless, but is unrequited.





	I'm not enough?

**Author's Note:**

> The movie(s) doesn't belong to me.
> 
> This doesn't have a beta, if somebody decides to help me with it I would really appreciated it.

Hiccup got to his bed, falling on it despite the fact that it was just some rugs and wood where he sleeps, not caring about the hard of his fall on it. Actually, the dull pain was almost a loving kiss in comparison with how he was feeling.

This is how he was going to die, not by a stronger enemy or a dragon, but from pen-up emotions that slowly getting the better of him, making difficult to act like everything was fine in front of others.

Sure, he appeared sad; the dragons left a few months ago and that was a big hit for everyone in Berk, and the Haddocks were specially united with them; so when he didn’t smile, reacted mechanically, or just chuckle of things he would openly laugh before, people respected his space. Nobody knows that it was a farce.

Because even that sadness was only the tip of the iceberg.

He hugs the pill of furs he used as a pillow, and let the tears out; it was a draining experience from somebody with little energy nowadays, but it never fails to happen every night. When the lights when out, in the silence of his humble home, Hiccup just show all he felt to the shadows.

“Why…” he sobbed with a deep voice, it was so low the whisper that only his demons would hear “Why you left me here?”

Most berkians carry on with their lives despite the lost, but he couldn’t do that, he just couldn’t.

In retrospective, there was nothing he could do to change the results, it was all set in stone the moment his heart decided the night fury was the one he belonged.

It was wrong, so wrong in many ways. He was the pride of Berk, the one who defeated the Red Death and stop the war of three hundred years; for once in his life he was a winner, and what his heart decides? Settle for the next impossible thing, be in love with Toothless.

What could he have done? He was sure Toothless was just as intelligent as him, no matter what others would say, their conversations only pointed to that; yet what does that change? There were still different species, both males, not even their tongue had in common.

They were destined to be only friends, and he accepted; he accepted that his love was a sin and no matter how much he wanted the dragon at his side, it was never going to happen. He did his part of the deal, winning battles for Berk, freeing dragons, going for the best warrior of their generation as partner (“ _ Sorry I got you into this, Astrid”  _ was what he said in his mind every time he faked feeling love for her); he bury his feelings in the deepest part of his soul, acting like he didn’t want to just go way with the love of his life.

And how the gods repay him for his sacrifices? Make the one he loved, fall in love with somebody else.

He grinds his teeth, eyes shut, and start punching the wall so hard he got some splinters in his hand, not that he cared.

Why? Why she needed to appear? Why she was in the way? He always thought that at least, he could be the first one in Toothless heart, the one he loved the most. Not anymore! Just get a female fury and see how all that love disappears.

He knows he was being unfair, he couldn’t demand that type of loyalty of somebody who never agreed to that type of relationship, but Hiccup didn’t care; he was all alone in his cold house, while she was having her best life alongside the Night Fury, wasn’t he allowed to be petty?

Besides, he did his best for them, all the way. Despite breaking his heart, he rooted for them, trying to help Toothless, getting them close, even making an auto-tail to make sure he could woo her. “ _ Is just a rut _ ” he said to himself “ _ Once he has sex, she would be only the second best, and everything would be back to normal _ ”

How foolish he was. Toothless follow her to the Hidden World, not caring for the fact that there were problems on Berk, that his flock needed him, or that  _ he _ needed him, nothing. He went with her on their little honeymoon, and when he came back with him, he was pouting.

Making the dragons go the Hidden World was the last resort, the best he could think to be sure they were safe; he hated it, with all his heart, yet he couldn’t think of any other choice. When he stood there, making that stupid discourse to make sure nobody suspected the real turmoil inside him, he begged with his eyes:  _ don’t go, stay, take me with you, anything, just don’t go.  _ Is what he wanted to say, with all his heart.

Toothless could had tried to stay, or just kidnapped him like Cloudjumper did with his mother years ago; Hiccup wasn’t sure of what, but he expected  _ something from him _ , but no. He saw him, and he saw the Light Fury, and make his choice.

“ _ I didn’t care if I wasn’t enough for the town _ ” he thought, just a bit of eyes opened “ _ The ridicule, the complains, everything was okay, because I thought I was enough for you _ ”

He was wrong. 

**Author's Note:**

> Me to Hiccup: You broke my heart, so I will break yours. 
> 
> I have other stuff to be working on, but somebody on discord started to talk about Hiccup caring for Toothless in THW and how this is not reciprocated and...it breaks my heart, it breaks my heart a lot. So I got some heartbreaking songs, I did this, I just wanted to to throw a fist honestly.
> 
> See ya.


End file.
